5 Ways to Communicate with an Ex-wife, without Fighting

Fighting with your ex-spouse following a divorce is not uncommon, especially if the couple has children or still has some financial loose ends to tie up. Fighting after divorce is often the result of having children, purchasing a home together and splitting up belongings. It can be difficult to settle these matters, but it is also entirely possible.

In this Divorced Fathers Rights article, we’ll share a few ways exes can communicate without resorting to hostility.

1. Decide on just one avenue of communication.
Ex-couples can create a peaceful environment by eliminating hostile forms of communication. It is easy to misinterpret a text message or voice-mail without context, leading to fights. Some people simply cannot meet face-to-face. For this reason, it is a good idea to consider which avenue of communication prevents fighting after divorce. Whether you choose to have your divorce attorney act as a mediator or some other method, discussing the options with the other person will show consideration and allow the two to arrive at a consensus.

2. Know your position.
Understanding one’s position on important issues can prevent arguments and get rid of confusion. Somebody who is confused is not going to communicate clearly, leading to poor word choice and the inability to arrive at a solid conclusion. Dealing with an ex-spouse requires one to be flexible and stand their ground without coming off as hostile.

3. Remain civil.
No matter what a couple has gone through, the importance of remaining civil never dissipates. Of course there is no way to control the way an ex-spouse chooses to communicate; however, responding to an ex should always be done calmly. Some people find it helpful to make it clear that they will only respond to statements that are made calmly and without hostility.

4. Plan conversations.
An ex-couple who needs to discuss important matters can schedule ways of speaking after divorce. This allows the two parties to plan their responses ahead of time. This prevents a fast reaction that can lead to fights and other consequences. It may also help to take notes, especially if a trip to the courtroom lies in the future.

5. Do not defend.
The temptation to provide a defense will be strong, but it is never a good idea. This will only lead to more arguments and fighting. It is actually much more effective to apologize, although many people feel that this puts them in a bad position. It does not necessarily imply a step down. It may actually lead to a toned down conversation. Acknowledging the other person’s perspective and letting the little things go can be incredibly helpful in moving the talk forward.

Speaking after divorce for the first time can be a difficult endeavor, but keeping these tips in mind can be helpful. Not only will proper care and communication result in less fighting but may also lead to resolution.