Divorce and Religion, Who Has the Right to Choose the Children’s Religion?

Divorced parents who want to do the best they can for their children must learn to cooperate with their former spouse. When there are differences in religion, this principle can be difficult to apply, but it is essential. Conflict over religion will often lead children to rejecting religion altogether.

In this Divorced Fathers Rights guide we give you tips that will help you and your ex-spouse provide a religious upbringing to your children that is nurturing, positive and free from unnecessary conflict.

Both Parents Have a Right to Provide Religious Influence

Whether you have primary custody of your children or visitation rights every other weekend, you have the right to involve them in your religious practices. The First Amendment guarantees this.

You have the right to instruct them at home, take them to religious services or activities and even have them baptized or confirmed in your religion. Many children grow up with knowledge and respect for more than one faith. This is true for children with divorced parents and with married parents.

NOTE: If you do not have visitation rights with your children, it is unlikely that a court will enforce your wishes regarding the religious upbringing of the children.

Do Not Disparage the Other Religion

You don’t have to accept the religion of the other parent, but it’s not wise to put it down either. If religion becomes a source of conflict, it can harm the healthy relationship the children have with one or both parents. Trust that when your children are older, they will be able to make their own choice of religion or continue to have a respect for both. Arguing with your ex is one of the most common mistakes made by divorce fathers and you want to avoid that.

NOTE: When conflicts cannot be resolved peacefully, the court may be asked to decide. Most courts will support each parent’s First Amendment rights, but may also leave the decision up to the child if the child has reached the age of 12 or more.

Teach Tolerance as well as Truth

You don’t have to teach your children that all religions are equal if you don’t believe that, or that all religious practice is equally valuable. But teaching and demonstrating tolerance for other religions will help them to avoid unneeded conflict as they grow up. It may also help them make religious decisions for themselves that are based on personal convictions rather than unhealthy influences.

Issues about religious belief and practice can be among the most contentious between divorced spouses. Cooperating in religious matters is in the best interest of the children. It will be a wonderful example to them of living in harmony with those who hold different beliefs and convictions.

If you need more tips for handling child visitation, child support, child custody issues, how to get legal advice or just need answers on your state laws, please visit the helpful guides on this site.