How to Move On From Your Ex-Wife after a Bitter Divorce
Divorce can be a very difficult time in a man’s life. It can leave behind feelings of bitterness and regret. This feeling is intensified if the divorcee still has feelings toward his ex-wife, and many make the mistake of involving their children in the anger battle. Remember, never put down their mother to get even, it will backfire! A feeling of disillusionment is often accompanied by an inability to trust others for many years after divorce proceedings. The baggage of a bitter divorce can be hard to let go of immediately after the separation.
Fact: 41% of first marriages lead to divorce proceedings. Of those 41%, 60% of divorcees will go on to get divorced a second time. A staggering 73% of third marriages end in divorce as well.
Getting over a divorce requires honesty toward oneself more than anything else. You will need to ask yourself a number of very difficult questions about what exactly went wrong during your marriage. For many men, therapy is a great option after divorce. Being brutally honest with yourself will help you figure out exactly what went wrong. No single person can be wrong in any relationship, even if it seems that way to both sides.
A man might think in retrospect that a woman was using him for his money. He might wonder if she was just settling with someone she didn’t really have strong emotions toward. The reality is that it can be one, several or all of these things. As the old quote goes, those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.
Moving on from divorce is often about tying up any loose knots that the divorce has left behind. If you had children with your ex-wife, you will always have something linking you to her. Custody battles affect the kids just as much as the adults. It’s important in this case to try and solidify a solid “working” relationship with her. You both might resent each other, but it’s probable that your kids still need to witness a mutual level of respect between both of you to grow up well adjusted. Finding an affordable divorce lawyer who can make sure you both act in the best interest of the children can act as a mediator, and help you through the hard road ahead.
If you didn’t have kids with her, you will likely want to completely erase her from your life. There are many ways to symbolically find closure after bitter divorce proceedings. You can auction your wedding ring and band online. Destroying a marriage certificate can have a similar cathartic effect. Removing anything else that reminds you of her from your home should help as well.
It may also be a good idea to take a break from working for a while. Some men use up unused vacation time at work to go on a trip and get a new outlook on life. Divorce can be a new beginning that leads to opportunities that weren’t available to a married man. You can reflect on your past circumstances and see exactly what went wrong before you jump into a new relationship and make the same mistakes. Your next relationship will likely be understandably more tentative and careful. It’s a good idea to date a woman for at least six months before considering marriage. Many people bounce from a divorce into another marriage with the hope of rebuilding something that has been lost. The key to getting over bitterness in divorce and perhaps all aspects of life is letting go. Being a progressive and forward thinking person will naturally lead your life in the right direction.