Top Reasons You Should Not Spoil Your Children Because You Are Divorced
When you’re divorced, there is great temptation to spoil your children. Their lives have been thrown into chaos and they have been through everything from custody battles, learning a visitation schedule, to unfortunately, hearing parents argue over child support issues.
Plus, you want to make sure you have their affection and may give them too much or be too lenient with them for their own good. Divorced parents, especially non-custodial parents, run a greater risk of spoiling their children.
Spoiled kids have an entitlement mentality and will struggle to achieve their very best. There are many reasons not to spoil them.
In this Divorced Fathers Rights Guide we will discuss what you can do to make sure your kids are not spoiled.
Spoiled Children are Unprepared for the Real World
High school teachers – the good ones anyway – and college professors will not spoil your kids. Employers aren’t lenient when employees consistently break the rules or buck authority. The real world deals harshly with people who have been indulged by parents wanting to make them happy.
Spoiled Kids Have Poor Relationships
Being spoiled makes a person hard to deal with. Relational conflict is a plague for people who were spoiled as kids and never got over it. When someone can’t emotionally handle not getting what they want, when others don’t do what they expect them to do, conflict will ensue.
Ask any marriage counselor or divorce attorney and they will tell you that they see spoiled clients all the time that can’t get along with a spouse because they expect to have everything their way. That’s not what you want for your kids, so don’t spoil them now.
Spoiled Children Don’t Achieve their Best
When kids expect things to be given to them, they don’t work as hard for success. On the other hand, when children learn the value of working for what they want and not getting everything they’d like to have, they have a drive and ambition that will serve them well in all of their life endeavors.
How to Avoid Spoiling your Kids
Have age-appropriate rules for your kids and expect them to stick to them. All children should have rules and you should try to work out one set of rules with your ex-spouse and be consistent at both homes. Hold kids accountable for their actions when they fail to live up to the rules and give them encouragement when they do go by the rules. If you’re unclear about how to do this – perhaps because it wasn’t modeled in your home growing up – then get help from books on parenting.
Don’t try to be your kids’ pal. Be their parent and earn their respect. They have an emotional need for authority, direction and accountability. That’s your job. When they get these things from you, as well as love and support, they’ll become the emotionally-healthy, well-rounded adults you want them to be.