Fathers Guide to Keeping the Kids After a Divorce

If you’re committed to being rewarded custody of the children following your divorce, you’ll need a plan for success. A common misconception is that the mother is always going to win a custody battle. While most mothers do, it’s only because many fathers don’t put up much of a fight!

As a father, you have equal rights to raise your children and with the right planning and preparation, you can! This Divorced Fathers Rights guide gives you proven tips for winning the custody you want, whether it is joint physical custody or sole custody.

Live a Stable Lifestyle

The courts will scrutinize you pretty heavily. They want to know if you have a job, make enough to provide support the kids full/part-time, have a home or apartment with separate bedrooms for the kids, etc. Do not use drugs or abuse alcohol, or stop those behaviors, and don’t start living with another women during the legal process.

Be a Good Parent

Spend time with your children on a consistent basis. Interact with them about their activities and school. Include them in meaningful activities. Show consistent discipline that does not include physical abuse, yelling or bullying. Also, make sure your children are fed appropriate foods and have the clothing they need while in your care. They should stick to a regular bedtime and get enough sleep. If you are able to, take time off from work or arrange for proper family care when kids are in your care and are sick.

Take the Kids to Church

Or to synagogue, or other appropriate religious activities. While the government often seems anti-religious, judges who make decisions on custody issues know that involvement in religion is one of the factors that help children develop positively and stay out of trouble.

Keep them Involved with Activities and Friends

Never cut off your children from the activities that have been a part of their life. Make sure they don’t miss their sports games or music lessons, etc. Be involved in these activities by attending games or concerts. Volunteer to help if needed. In other words, do more than just drop them off and pick them up.

Document Everything

Keep a record of all of the above, so that you can present it succinctly to the authorities. Make sure it’s accurate and that your kids can vouch for you if questioned.

Be Civil and Mature

The court wants to know if you’re a mature adult capable of doing what is in the best interest of your kids. Be polite, don’t lose your cool even when attacked and be cooperative at all times. When in court, dress in a way that shows your respect for the judge and process.

Document and Expose Parenting Problems in the Childrens Mother

This may sound like playing dirty, but you can be sure that your flaws are going to be exposed by the other side. You need to be prepared to show that the mother isn’t perfect either. Don’t exaggerate, but list and document incidences in which she was neglectful, hurtful, abusive physically or emotionally, or otherwise engaged in behavior that was detrimental to the children.

Hire a Good Attorney

Look for a lawyer well-versed in the law in your state and one with a proven track record of successfully defending fathers rights and winning custody. The courts tend to be biased in favor of mothers, so you simply can’t be too prepared with both a good offense and a solid defense. A good attorney will help immensely in that preparation. A good place to start when looking for a divorce attorney is Lawyers.com where they have a listing by state and specialty.


If having partial or full custody of the children is important to you, then do whatever it takes to prevent mistakes and to give yourself the best chance of success. Tips outlined in this fathers guide to keeping the kids after divorce is the right place to start.